Equal Rights For WomenMay 12, 2009
I am on a new kick to drink more water. From what I hear, it can flush your kidneys, prevent cancer, improve your credit rating, and make you a better painter. There are two problems for me. A) I don’t like water. It has no flavor, calories, fat, or cheese. B) I am stopping at every port-o-john I see. The picture below is one I snapped of a man who had just finished relieving himself in a canal in China, and I would just like to say three words: I am jealous. If I’m going to keep drinking water like I’m being tortured by Dick Cheney, I too, want to be able to turn around and whip it out wherever I am (okay, not if there is a camera present). This is not penis envy. It is peepee envy. Perverts. I’m beginning to think this whole situation is rather sexist. I didn’t exactly see a woman squatting with her fanny hanging out over that canal. So, here is what I want to see happen. WOMEN UNITE! Next time you have to go, set those modesty tendencies aside. Walk in front of your car at the mall and pee right in those bushes. Set your latte on the sidewalk and use the planter. Take an empty bottle with you on the bus. Better yet, make it a pickle jar. AND LET HER RIP. Afterall, does this man look embarrassed considering there was a whole boatload of camera wielding tourists driving by him?