Prince Harry Caught Eating Hot Dog

By W R Jones

princeharry

    I captured this image of Prince Harry when I was a paparazzi.   I was a little down on my luck at the time and could not afford a camera so I drew him.   Turns out he wasn’t “The” Prince Harry.   And another thing – the magazines don’t pay well for an image of Joe American who looks like all his air bags went off at the same time.  When his phone rang everybody stepped aside thinking he was backing up.

    A kindly editor told me he didn’t think I was cut out to be a paparazzi.  So I switched to nutritional science.   I recently found a link to a doctor (and they are experts in food, you understand) who thinks we should abandon the food pyramid for his food diamond.

    In the middle of his diamond is a big area labeled “WATER”.   I’m not sure what the nutritional value of water is, but this guy is a genius for being the first to recognize we need it.  There should be a Nobel in there for him.   He also has one of the grains as “steel cut oatmeal”.  What the hell?   I’m old so I can remember the bronze age.   In those days they touted “bronze cut oatmeal”.  After thousands of years it is the same old sales bullshit.

    Not that the pyramid is of any more use.   It has a base of pasta, bread, rice, cereal requiring 6-11 servings.  What is a serving?   What age.  If you take an infant off the breast to give him 11 servings of pasta he will plug right up.  Or maybe he will reach for the remote and ask for another beer.

    The last time I paid attention to a man just because he had MD after his name was that time I traded two perfectly good testicles for goat glands.   The only increase in appetite I see is a desire to graze on the neighbor’s front lawn. 

    I wonder what the nutritional value of grass is?  How much grass is a serving?  Would that be two passes with the lawn mower?  If I graze the entire front yard will that give me enough energy to take that damn muscle conditioning class again?

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26 Responses to Prince Harry Caught Eating Hot Dog

  1. Davis says:

    I do remember from my childhood that it tasted pretty good, and went especially well with water from the hose. Maybe some retro restaurant should get the idea!

  2. Barbara Pask says:

    This sketch is great Bill, interesting and well done. A typical American for the most part, lol. Funny post as always, husband enjoys it too.

  3. Rhonda says:

    Bill, you’ve captured a certain look that some Americans do seem to be championing lately. I was just told by Brian Williams and some MD (on the evening news, they didn’t come to my house to tell me personally) that 2 out of 3 Americans are now obese – we’ve passed overweight and gone right to obese. Obese, meaning that’s why you can’t find anything in a Size Small in any store anywhere (for men or women). Fearing the worst, I bought myself a scale that tells me not only my weight, but what my body fat index is – and let me tell you, it’s depressing enough to reach for the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and rootbeer float for comfort :( Keep painting and keep telling your stories, Bill, it may be the only bright spot in my future!

  4. wrjones says:

    Davis – you are a man of good taste.

    Barbara – be careful letting your husband read this stuff. He may get DIY fever and burn down your house.

    Rhonda – I remember being at a gym when a young man came out from having his body fat measured. He was looking trim but dejected. He told his buddy his numbers (which were pretty high). His friend told him it is not what you are but what you appear to be. He perked right up and reached for another beer. My, that root beer float sounds good. I like to put some ice in it to really chill.

  5. kevmoore says:

    I like this sketch a lot Bill, despite the fact it is making me think twice about eating some apres-dejeuner chocolate….

  6. Jala Pfaff says:

    Oh my god, you really made me laugh out loud on this one. I’m reading Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food right now, so your post was very a propos to read right now…okay, except for the goat testicles thing. That I do NOT understand and furthermore probably do NOT want an explanation for.
    I LOOOOOVE this drawing, it is completely awesome. When did you do it, and how big is it (the paper, not the guy)?

  7. Lori says:

    Wow Bill, for a minute there I thought the real Prince Harry took his foot out of his mouth and started stuffing hot dogs in. Super drawing, looks like all my inlaws.

    I always figured grass must have lots of calories. Look how fat the cows are. The old food pyramid is of no use whatever. I think you should design a more realistic one Bill, you couldn’t possibly do any worse than whoever did the first one. The water guy’s diamond sounds kind of yucky, you could do better than him too. Who wants to live in the bathroom?

  8. Dar says:

    Excellent drawing. We may be getting a new food pyramid soon.
    http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/215431/january-07-2009/dr–gupta-s-penis-pyramid

    The punch line is at the end, so bear with it.

  9. Perhaps you should ask the Irish who survived the famine whether eating grass worked well.

    GREAT DRAWING

  10. Bonnie Luria says:

    You’ve captured the essence of the ” Rotund American ” so perfectly, missing only the poly track suit, and, not that I can hear anything, the loud, I’m the only one in the room voice.
    It’s a great drawing.

    Now let’s get on with the hilarity of your nutritional diatribe. According to the average American diet, it would appear that we’ve gone beyond the pyramid and veered directly into the Food Parthenon. All you can eat buffet.
    Supersize. Refills free.
    Holy Toledo, why would anyone want to?

    Sorry, I’m still laughing from this post……

  11. The food pyramid is fine. It’s just that they put the wrong stuff on the foundation.

    You just need the four food groups: fat, salt, caffeine and sugar. Translate that as coffee, pizza and chocolate donut. Voila! It’s not just for breakfast anymore, either.

    Oops, I forgot Votka. I guess there’s actually five food groups.

    That guy is fabulously drawn, but he really needs a bicycle.

  12. Bill – you keep cracking me up. I love the drawing too. You will be glad to know that I did paint last night but nothing hung out to dry on the blog just yet!

  13. ivdanu says:

    Bill, you are mistaken, my friend! That’s not Prince Harry! It,s me, before I’ve lost weight! And don’t trow stones at the nutritionists! Some are stupid, ok or too clever, but there are also some good folks! You would like, I’m almost sure, James Vale, a non-doctor and stuff (just a guy like you and me who found a thing or two…) full of British/ Irish? humor…

  14. Lisa B. says:

    Bill, this is awesome. You MUST paint him!

    That pyramid thing is idiocy. No wonder we’re so fat. All those carbs on the bottom, and what do you get? A very big bottom!

  15. wrjones says:

    Kev – that chocolate sounds like it should be delivered directly to your lips by a French beauty.

    Jala – thanks. I did the drawing the night before the post it is about 6″ x 4″.

    Lori – you may be right about the grass. I’ve been putting on a few pounds.

    Dar – I clicked on link but only got a page showing Colbert Nation with no video.

    Marion – thanks. If they survived I guess it has some nutritional value.

    Bonnie – thank you. I sit in the company cafeteria and am astounded by the number of REALLY fat people. And, yes, they stack their trays with food.

    Aletha – you forgot the MD after your name. He would look good on a bike.

    Cara – glad to hear you are painting. We will stop by to leave those smart ass comments you must love.

    Ivandu – there are some brilliant knowledgeable nutritional scientists. My point being that no one pays any attention to them so much of their work is a waste of time. When you are eating or shopping does the food pyramid come to mind, or do you just eat what you feel like eating at the moment?

    Lisa B – thanks, I don’t have that much paint. That is a good image the big bottom to match the pyramid. The diamond is more like a rat turd, sharp on both ends.

  16. Georgia says:

    Very nice sketch. I enjoyed looking at your previous listings. Excellent work! Your posts are hilarious and witty and you definitely gained another fan.
    Thank you for dropping by my blog and for your nice comments.

    http://georgiasday.blogspot.com/

  17. For the record – I do love them!

  18. Excellent drawing. It makes me really glad I’m not living in a nudist colony.

  19. wrjones says:

    Georgia – thank you. I like the name Georgia, and your dolphins. I’m waiting to see the pomegranetes although as a fruit I think they stink.

    Cara – great. I seem to have an unlimited supply of lippy comments to give out.

    Diana – how can you say that? You are standing there with folded arms giving a stern look to the world. Have you ever seen a documentary on nudist’s colonies or an add for one of the cruise ships that has a nudist cruise? Lordy, one look at that group makes you want to put on several layers even in August at Death Valley.

  20. kimiam says:

    Bills, believe me, this guy looks better than one of my sketches of a very attractive, slender, professional art model last week. Unfortunately I had the foreshortened view and I made her hips and legs look like they’d been mangled in at least two car accidents. I was so embarassed. and…everyone for some unknown reason wanted to look at my sketches that night. I sucked it up and let them see. One artist couldn’t stop laughing. :|

    Let’s trade. You can have “nude following not one, but two car accidents” if I can have “airbag guy eating hotdog”

  21. wrjones says:

    Kimiam – I’m proud of you. The best way to grow is to get over our egos and let our mistakes be simple mistakes. No one else really gives a shit, even as they laugh. Isn’t that the way the whole thing works? On the days you feel you are looking good, you can’t get anyone to pay attention if you walk into a room full of kids with a rifle. But should you be looking a little ragged, EVERYONE is staring.

    I would trade you in a second but already gave it away. Most of the time I toss the drawings. I have tried using them to pay for a meal or tip a waiter/waitress. Here is what I get: “Get real grandpa! If I don’t see some coin, I’m calling the police.”

  22. Bill, what a fun (and funny) sketch. i wonder who that really is . . . Holly

  23. Hot dog….this is awesome!!

  24. I sure hope you didn’t sketch this guy from a couple feet away. He doesn’t look like the sort who would take too kindly to your depiction and you would have been in danger of more than an overdose of grass.

  25. wrjones says:

    Holly – I don’t know but according to the National Inquirer he is not the prince.

    Theresa – I like the way you stick out your tongue and wink. That’s about the way I write.

    Susan – I was very close to take accurate measurement. I had to use elephant calipers. Ya, you don’t want to get between him and the hot dog.

    I wish I could take your March workshop but I will be painting in Arizona. Please keep me on the list for the fall. I do want to do that again.

  26. Carol King says:

    That guy in your drawing needs to put down the hot dog and graze on some grass. Or maybe he’s just been smoking too much grass which is causing his increased desire to eat.

    Love the drawing. But somehow I feel like this guy had a tattoo or two that you weren’t able to capture. Is it because he saw your drawing and chased you for a while?

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