Just What We Needed ~ Another Mini Mall

By WR Jones

orangelight

   Apparently there has been a mass die off of those with brains.   I was walking through yet another new mini mall yesterday.  Has everyone been hit in the head? 

    It has two pizza places, a pasta place, a subway sandwich place, an ice cream place, a yogurt place, another restaurant, and a bank; just what we needed.  I don’t see any purpose in keeping that flat fertile farmland.  After all, we don’t need to grow any food, we can order a pizza.

    We have mini malls that have had vacancies for the past 10 years.  What makes anyone think this is going to work?   They are just a horrible blight.  They all end up run down with empty buildings.   Are there no qualified city planners left alive?

     My solution:  

           Use waitresses/tellers dressed as above to deliver the pizzas, pasta, and ice cream, and to work the teller windows.   Have a couple of kiosks, one for crack and one for meth.   This is all about making money for someone so let’s get some serious cash flowing here.

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25 Responses to Just What We Needed ~ Another Mini Mall

  1. Sounds like a nightmare, Bill… or maybe not that different from what’s out there already (also a nightmare).

    I too want to know where all the people with reasoning power have gone. My suspicion is that most people who started out with good brains at birth have been in front of the television so much that their synapses have atrophied. They aren’t called couch potatoes for nothing. And perhaps the other folks that don’t bother with tv are drinking way too much and killing off their brain capacity.

    The low numbers of individuals still able to think and reason aren’t enough to inject critical thought into our society, although there are a few voices crying in the wilderness. Peggy Noonan is one of them.

    Nice painting, BTW! I like the loose energetic brushwork.

  2. Rhonda says:

    Bill, I’m wondering about that 1/2 bra she seems to be wearing. I heard Victoria’s Secret was having a Half Off sale but didn’t know it meant you only got half a bra? Maybe she had a complete bra and someone stole half – hence that rosy blush on her cheek? Lovely work, as usual.

  3. I share your opinion on the uselessness of fertile farm land…we don’t need it! Any idiot knows that there is plenty of food at super markets and take out joints! I also hate it when rain THREATENS us! We don’t need rain threats. We need nice sunshine so we can drive our SUVs over non fertile mountains and deserts. Water?…just turn your damn facet on or better yet, buy it in a bottle at the super market, stupids!!!
    Keep the good advice coming, Bill.

  4. Nava says:

    I second the words of wisdom of David here. Absolutely. And I like the painting a lot. Nice moody color choices – she looks like she’s waiting for her pizza. Pepperoni.

  5. wrjones says:

    Diana – thanks. I really think I should be King to straighten out this mess.

    Rhonda – that is a tan line. The was some extreme lighting on the model from below her which accentuated one side. I just listened to a line on Jay Leno about how to complement a Christmas tree. You do it the same way you would your girlfriend’s chest. If they are artificial say they look real. If they are real say they look artificial.

    David – it is so good to know someone else out there knows we can get food at the grocery and not to drink that nasty tap water when you can pay $1.29 and help the economy and landfill at the same time. I can’t stand that flat boring farmland, Christ it is like dirt. I’m thinking of having my nails done at that new place. Whoa, I’m going to be looking good.

    Nava – the model was lit with an orange light. That would be sausage, pepperoni, and pineapple.

  6. She looks as if she has something on her mind. Probably the mini-mall thing.

  7. Bonnie Luria says:

    “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot”.
    Not only has not much changed in 30 years, but how did folks ever go from car to office without a bottle of water in their bag.

    A topic I can’t even say enough about, living on an island where everything goes into the landfill here which will soon be bigger than the housing.

    We’re part of an organization ( non profit of course ) to reclaim and protect farmland in perpetuity. These kinds of ” grassroots ” activities really do start bottom up.

    Great topic Bill and as well, good painting and fluid brushwork.

    Here’s to more brains all around in 09.

  8. Rebecca says:

    Nice work, Bill.
    Lisa, you gorgeous, spellbinding, goddess!! I love you!! -your secret admirer, who wishes you would post a story today.

  9. lbtowers says:

    I love you too Rebecca. I’ll write tomorrow. Just for you.

    Raspberries to you Bill…

    Lisa

  10. kevmoore says:

    Ah, but who is going to grow those rasberries, lisa? they don’t grow on trees you know, and what with no fertile farmland left… Bill, you touch on an interesting subject, and for some strange reason, I see an image of an ostrich with its head up its..erm, in the sand. It seems to me planners are throwing up these white elephants and whistling while Rome burns (am i mixing my metaphors here?) Nobody’s buying stuff anymore, and if they are, its on ebay. Litter blowing through the vacant, abandoned shopping centres in the UK tell me that. so if we don’t need shops, because we can get everything on the net, let’s reclaim the land and get some real food again. Dig for victory! yay! (I have a bad back though, so someone else will have to do the digging, but I can sit by the edge of the field shouting instructions) Happy New year all.

  11. wrjones says:

    Preston – She is probably thinking, “this position is killing my back”

    Bonnie – use the landfill to expand the island. Once it gets big enough you can add a mini mall where they sell bottled water and pizza.

    Rebecca – thanks, uh, this time you were lucky to have Lisa see your comment. Normally she does not read my stuff. She only came this time because I told her she needs to start writing something interesting instead of that rat rant business. She came looking for a weakness in my editorial skills she could exploit.

    Kev – damn I have to admire that great use of post/comment mix. I wonder if that land can be reclaimed. I think some if not all of the fertility will be lost. I keep thinking the population is growing while farmland shrinks. At some point we have the perfect storm of crop failure and there will be many of us going very hungry. I think the USA might win this deal as we have so many obese that can probably survive for 3 or 4 years on bottled water alone. I think I will stop going to the gym and start eating donuts (I made a litte start this morning).

  12. Miki says:

    Happy New Year Lisa, Ramona and Bill!

  13. wrjones says:

    Thanks, Miki – from all three of us and we wish you a great year also. I’m still waiting for the framer to recover his health. He has my money and my painting so I’m REALLY hoping he gets well.

  14. Great painting and great comment on the mini mall, too!

  15. Rebecca says:

    He He…Tell her I’ll write today, too. And sorry I didn’t reply to the Merry Christmas note. I was in Neverland. SO, Here’s a “Happy New Year” that you can just read and not reply to!

  16. Jala Pfaff says:

    Energetic painting, I like it a lot.

  17. Jala Pfaff says:

    P.S. This new way of leaving a comment is kind of annoying.
    P.P.S. Excellent ideas about the strip malls.

  18. Lori says:

    Happy New Year! The painting looks cool but I don’t think I would like my pizza delivered by her. I like your thoughts about mini-malls. I think you should paint some cities that are properly planned and submit them.

  19. Lisa B. says:

    Maybe it’s just the food court and a big, shiny, brand new mega mall will grow up around it.

    I like the colors in this. Really nice flesh tones.

  20. carolking says:

    Hi Bill,

    I like this painting very much. Where did you paint it?

    Hope you had a wonderful New Year. Hope 2009 will be a very good year for everyone.

  21. Happy new year Bill!

    It’s gonna take some kind of trick or another for those mall folks to make money. Maybe you’ve got the right idea!

    btw, i like how your painting is so simply stated. well done!

    Have a great 2009,
    Holly

  22. wrjones says:

    Connie – Thanks.

    Rebecca – thanks. I don’t know why you have dealings with Lisa. Isn’t my stuff enough to keep you happy?

    Jala – thanks. What new way of comments?

    Lori – I have trouble painting a piece of roof. I think a whole town is way beyond me. But we could have a glass of wine and speculate on the concept.

    Lisa – you are a thinker. That maybe what is happening. I’m going to wait for the grand opening to get some new shoes.

    Carol – did you finish shoveling the sidewalk? This was painted in Arizona. The model was lit from below with an orange filtered light.

    Holly – 2009 is off to a good start. My jury duty is done for the year.

  23. Speaking of development stupidity, I live in Thrift City. There are nine thrift stores, including Value Village (replacing a mega food retailer who has expanded and built a newer mall) and TWO Sally Anns that are pretty big too. This is in a town with a population of less than 100,000. There are seven large malls, each with a major tenant, and not counting the vacant mall that is too old-fashioned (1970s) that no retailer wants to be in now.
    The last Municipal election was fought on the proposal of MORE SHOPPING IN THRIFTVILLE. The outgoing Mayor was promoting developers in the a)taking land out of the agricultural reserve b) to build another mall that would be bigger and better, so that we didn’t have to drive to the next municipality. Keep our dollars at home!!!
    Thankfully, the mayor lost his seat, but the development scheme continues to doggedly seek approval.
    Can’t you just see those dollars being kept at home – to all the minimum wagers who serve you at the food court and in the furniture, hardware and clothing stores? Nobody mentions that the remainder (and it ain’t $8/hour) goes to McBite and Golly Gee hamburger conglomerates; Starcrossed and Beans latté franchises; Shears, Mace, Penneyfarthing and other big box department stores that are headquartered outside of the community.
    Think, folks! Think!!! They want the stores closer to you so that you have less time between your impulse to buy and your purchase, so that your belated reasoning not do so won’t kick in. They want prime farmland because they don’t have to clear it since some sucker farmer had already done that for them and they save a bundle on development costs.
    I say, let them build on top of the landfills. There are plenty of plastic water bottles to provide a solid base for them – maybe they could build their mega malls on that new island that’s being created out of landfill waste?
    You have such nice paintings. How did we get onto the topic of engulfing mega-malls and landfills? It wears me out. Sorry for the rant. I’m going to go now – and get a non-fat raspberry yogurt ice cream delivered to the door.
    K
    also posting as http://www.artiseternal.wordpress.com

  24. After that last rant, I’d like to say quite simply that I’m delighted to have discovered this post this morning. I’ve had more than one great laugh at the post itself and the comments.
    I’d like to see more paintings.
    K

  25. wrjones says:

    K – Thanks. What town/city do you live in/near? You don’t have to put your home address here. Although you could email it only to me as I saw a photo of some cookies on your blog, and feel I should drop by. I’ll just eat the cookies and listen to you talk. I have a feeling your friends can’t get a word in edgewise. :-)

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