Bringing in the New Year

by Lisa

     

       The above will be  the first piece of art that I finish in the new year. I started it yesterday. That poor pumpkin has been sitting in my studio since before Halloween believe it or not, and I am just now getting around to drawing  it. That’s a butterfly sitting on the pumpkin. Imagine how he feels. In case you ‘re wondering, that funny looking thing (that I forgot to move before taking the picture) that’s in front of the drawing is an upside-down pot on a light stand. That is my very clever invention for resting my arm as I draw.  The arm with the new rotator cuff injury. Little tennis issue from Lisa pretending she’s still 15. 

       Today is New Year’s Eve. Every year at my house we do a ball drop where my husband and my son erect a tall pole in our front yard, and  hoist a ball rigged with Christmas lights that flash and twinkle. At the bottom of the pole is the new year’s sign that lights up when the ball descends reaching it at the stroke of midnight and Auld Lang Syne begins to wail over the loud speaker. Every year the entire neighborhood shows up for the event at ten minutes before midnight and leave five minutes after. There is no getting out of it now if we wanted to. It gets bigger every year, and one of these days we expect a news crew to show up.

       The first year we did this was in Nashville for the changing of the millennium. We wanted to do something really different to commemorate the special event so that’s where the idea began. We went all out. There were balloons in slings hanging from our big maple trees overhead. We had a PA system for the music, party favors to pass out, hats and champagne and invited everyone we knew with their families. It was a huge party raging with lots of  children running about delirious with the need to sleep. Lots of them. At the stroke of midnight it was my job to pull the rip cord and release the balloons on the celebratory crowd. Dylan was on Auld Lang Syne detail.

       Then came the final 10 seconds.  All eyes beheld the flashing ball as the countdown began, with anticipation of the start of the new millennium. I was ready with my rip cord. Dylan was ready with the music. The crowd was counting louder and louder and when the ball hit the sign , nothing happened. It did not light.  I did not pull the balloon cord. Dylan did not start the music, and instead of a big cheer emmanating  from the crowd, there was a collective groan. That was when we realized that one of the sleep deprived rug-rats who had been told not to go behind the sign had tripped over the cord and yanked it out of its socket disconnecting us from our moment of glory.   We recovered the error fairly quickly, and plugged the sign it, but it was just a tad anti-climactic I’m here to tell ya.

       I hope no one was scarred for life by the delayed start of the new millennium.  Those who were superstitious, or had built bunkers in their basements for the Y2K doomsday predictions might have had a problem with the symbolism of it all.  Hey, I figured they could create their own little leap year compensations if worse came to worse.

       Personally…I thought it was hilarious. Hey, maybe I’ll sabotage it again tonight. Just for kicks. You’re all invited!

       Happy New Year!!!!

Just What We Needed ~ Another Mini Mall

By WR Jones

   Apparently there has been a mass die off of those with brains.   I was walking through yet another new mini mall yesterday.  Has everyone been hit in the head? 

    It has two pizza places, a pasta place, a subway sandwich place, an ice cream place, a yogurt place, another restaurant, and a bank; just what we needed.  I don’t see any purpose in keeping that flat fertile farmland.  After all, we don’t need to grow any food, we can order a pizza.

    We have mini malls that have had vacancies for the past 10 years.  What makes anyone think this is going to work?   They are just a horrible blight.  They all end up run down with empty buildings.   Are there no qualified city planners left alive?

     My solution:  

           Use waitresses/tellers dressed as above to deliver the pizzas, pasta, and ice cream, and to work the teller windows.   Have a couple of kiosks, one for crack and one for meth.   This is all about making money for someone so let’s get some serious cash flowing here.

The Night Before Christmas

     ’Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a…’   HA.  Ya-RIGHT. Oh, they’re stirring alright (please refer to my last post about this situation). We’ve given up on feeding them in the defective traps that must have been made by an underground animal rights activist group. In fact, maybe if we stave off feeding them for awhile they WILL go away!!!

   

       The above is the cover of a book that I got for my son when he was a very little boy. Every Christmas Eve thereafter, we would snuggle up in front of the fireplace before I put him to bed, and read this version of the classic tale. Oh aren’t those little vermin cute in the picture? Rather innocent looking don’t you think?

Every time we would come to this page we would laugh and laugh at the cute little guy on the potty. Okay, they are kind of cute.

Here’s the whole family peeking at Santa with their soulful little eyes.

And finally the last picture would show the happy little mice gleefully waving goodbye to Santa as he drove out of sight. Then I would close the book, cup his sweet little face in my hands, and kiss my beaming little boy goodnight.

       I think I’ll go put some peanut butter on the Santa plate and stick in the attic. I’ll use the fresh ground kind with honey roasted peanuts. They seem to like it best.