By W. R. Jones
Mother used a thimble like this to thump me on the head. She was always specific about the reason. She never used acronyms. “That’s for nothing, shithooks, now do something and see what you get.” She believed in clear communication.
Acronyms have, of course, been around since the first caveman wrote LDM (Lost Damn Mammoth) in the snow with his pee. Today they are everywhere; they are not always so clear. You think the other person understands, you think everyone knows the meaning. You must keep in mind, some of us came from a little outside of Chickencrotch, Iowa. We have not been exposed to such hacking of the language.
I took an exercise class with Erin. The class looked so tough I thought I might collapse so I told her I thought she should give me prophylactic CPR before we started. I guess she thought CPR stood for Clobber the Prick, now I don’t hear so well out of my left ear.
I am the master of the single entendre but today I used a double for the title of this post. It stands for not being able to understand acronyms and not being able to hear out of the ear Erin slapped. Christ I’m clever sometimes.
LOL – the first email I got with this I thought it meant lots of love, I sent the woman flowers. She sent back her husband; big bastard, he was. Now I r not so gud.
ROFL, ROFLMAO, TTFN, etc., etc. I got this the other day - ”c u @ SBX aftr”. It was unfortunate that I read it without my glasses and took it to mean “see you for the sex affair”. She sent her husband; big bastard, he was. Now I r wrse.
I want a pen pal who writes complete words, sentenances sentences (OK, Kev, I buckled – my OCD would not let me leave it alone – I also added the word “and” to the right of the right parenthesis. I think it reads better now. Thanks for the editing.) and, thoughts. I want her to write in flowing script with a pen dipped in ink then carefully blotted. Bring back the old days before the cell phone. Of course, I want her to include a self addressed stamped envelope for my reply, the cost of stamps being what it is.
Here is one for you – BMA (Bite My Ass) – wait, wait, I think I hear Erin, what’s that? “Point out the spot, you look like all ass to me.”